Broken Hearts
by aliasfan
Summary: [ONESHOT]He didn't want to hurt his friend. All he wanted to do was feel complete. Was that too much to ask? If he found him, would he still be called a Nobody, or could he be a Somebody?


**AN: **Ah-hah, so here's the oneshot. Unless I have a stroke of genius, I'll be focusing more on writing my original fics rather than write fanfics right now. But I'll still be R&Ring, don't worry. :) Oh yes, and just so you know, this is NOT a yaoi pairing, it's just a friendship.

_**-Broken Hearts-**_

He sat there, refusing to look upon the rich, bright hues of emerald eyes. He could feel them, the eyes that were green not with envy or greed as the color associates, but with a deep sense of care and worry. He had looked into those eyes before. Not once had he lied to them. But he was afraid that soon he would have to. He was afraid to raise his own cerulean oceans to meet the gaze of his beloved friend. It would hurt too much to look upon him.

But...why? Why should it hurt him? He couldn't have feelings. He was a Nobody after all. A mere shell, as they say. Born from a death. _Except that death was reversed._ Yet he remained alive still, ever searching for the true meaning of that word:

Alive. _What did it mean? _Humans said you must have a heart to live. But if he had no heart, then…what was he? Inhuman? Maybe. Not human, not real, thus, a Nobody.

And yet calling himself a Nobody wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to leave the past behind him. He didn't even _know_ his past, or rather, the past of his other half. Who was this mysterious boy who remained in his head, refusing to leave? He wondered what would happen if they met. Could he feel complete?

_Would he still be called a Nobody, or could he be a Somebody? _

There were so many questions…and he was hoping that this journey could answer them.

The blonde buried his head deeper into his gloved hands. Could he do it? Could he leave? The agony of his choice was burning him up inside. Either way he'd be letting someone down. Himself, or his friend. Or maybe one choice could lead to them both being let down.

"Roxas…" the voice called out to him, piercing and soothing him at the same time.

Roxas lifted his head slightly from his hands but remained silent. He continued to stare at the dirty ground. He'd rather look at dirt…because that was what he felt like.

"Roxas…"

"Don't!" Roxas said loudly, the word cutting through his friend's concerned voice. "I…I don't need another lecture…" he said more softly.

"I'm not…" the guy said, running his fingers through his fire-blazed hair. "I'm not going to give you one. But please, I just want you to think this through."

Roxas could hear the ache in his friend's voice, and he tried to hide the pain in his own. He didn't want to make it harder for them by showing his feelings. "What do you think I've been doing, Axel? It's been on my mind for weeks. _He's_ been on my mind for weeks. I _have_ thought this through…and…I think I've made my decision."

Axel kept folding and unfolding his arms, showing his nervousness. "I-I hope that you're doing the right thing."

The blonde-haired boy took a deep breath. Then he stood up, lifting his head. Then slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Axel's. First he was only staring at the tattoos under his eyes. It was like he literally could not bring himself to face his friend. But he swallowed hard, and finally mustered up the courage to meet his gaze. "Axel…" Roxas said softly.

Axel tilted his head and pouted his lips slightly. He knew Roxas well enough to be able to tell what he was going to do. "So…" he said sadly. "You think that's the right thing?" _Don't say it,_ Axel thought. _Anything but that…_

"Well…what exactly _is_ the right thing? I mean, how do you distinguish right from wrong?" Roxas pondered, not answering Axel's question.

Axel looked up at Roxas, whose eyes were no longer on him. "I thought you didn't want a lecture." He smirked, unfolding his arms and walking closer to Roxas.

"I know, I know. I was just…thinking…" Roxas replied, shifting slightly. "I guess the right thing isn't something I can figure out right now. I'll know later if it's the right thing, once I find out the outcome of my actions."

"But…" Axel said, the strain returning in his voice. "What if after all this you find out it was the wrong thing to do?"

A frown spread across the blonde's face. "Then…then I would be truly sorry to whoever was wronged."

Axel sighed deeply, shaking his head. "So you'd rather…"

"Yes!" Roxas exclaimed. "I'd rather risk doing the wrong thing than spend forever wondering if it would have been the right thing!"

Roxas had always felt like the 'wrong thing'. He was the youngest and smallest of all the Nobodies in Organization XIII. Roxas had felt like the runt of the group, even though none of the members necessarily made him feel that way. It didn't help that he was member XIII either. 13…the unlucky number. Roxas thought that maybe finding this Sora could help change things around.

"No one in the Organization would care if I left. I don't matter to them." Roxas said angrily.

"Maybe they don't care, but I do!" Axel said with just as much force. "You're the _only_ friend I have here. You're the _only_ one that matters…"

Roxas felt a pang of guilt inside him. Deep down inside he knew that he didn't want to leave Axel. Axel really _was _his best friend. But he couldn't go on living the way he was. He needed to know what else was out there. Roxas lifted his hood, so that if he cried, Axel couldn't see his tears. "I'm sorry…but I have to go…"

Roxas stood up and walked out of the alleyway into the empty street, with Axel right behind him. "Roxas! Don't go! I need you here!"

Roxas couldn't bear to leave, to act with no emotion, to hurt his friend the way he was. But just as Roxas had pushed away his fears and looked Axel in the eyes, now he needed that strength to turn away. "We will meet again…"

Tears slid down Axel's cheek, he couldn't hide what he was feeling. "Roxas…" he said weakly, falling to his knees. "My heart is breaking…"

And just like that, rain had begun to fall, cool drops mixing with the hot tears of both young men. Roxas was leaving behind a friend, and possibly, his destiny. He continued walking, without looking back. "Nobodies don't have hearts…"


End file.
